BBI3421 STUDENTS' WRITING FORUM
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 Teeny Weeny Fantasy

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peishian139208




Posts : 23
Join date : 2009-01-20

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PostSubject: Teeny Weeny Fantasy   Teeny Weeny Fantasy EmptySun Apr 05, 2009 1:05 am

Group 2 - Team A

"Can we go again, mommy? Please?” I looked at mommy, with my eyes rolling.

Just within a second.

“Hey, baby Chloe, it’s time to have a walk in the park!” Mommy muttered.

Hooray!

Mommy never fails to get my hints, well, most of the time.

I grinned.

And there we are, on our way to the park, which located just a few miles away from my house. Mommy brings me there almost every weekend. Preferably, I named it an amusement park. I can always find something new, something interesting about this park.

The sky was a sunny turquoise shade, then a deep blue; a few white clouds floating, as soft as cotton candy.

I was sitting comfortably in my pram, looking around the park.

A breeze kissed my cheeks gently, gave me a litter shiver.

Shaaaaa…shaaaaa. Sounds came from this huge thing, with all the lime green leaves, branches with the big wood beneath, blowing by the wind. Mommy used to point at it and says, “T-R-E-E, tree. Baby, this is a tree.”

Two kids ran quickly towards the direction of the playground, at the middle of the park.

Guess what? There was a man making huge soap bubbles from a pail of soapy water with a hoop of rope, those overwhelmed kids hopping happily surrounding the man and stretched their index finger, intend to break the bubbles.

I pointed at the bubbles and leaned my body forward, attempting to push myself a little nearer, so that I can play with the bubbles too.

“Woof!” followed by another Woof, these continuous barks distracted me from the bubbles. “Oh hi, here’s the fluffy toy!” Its white hair is long and fluffy with a tiny red bow tied at the middle of its head, it is petite, almost the same height as me. It likes to waggle its tails every time it comes near me. “Awwww! How cute… I want it to be my toy, someday.” I mumbled. Somehow, I could not recall its name, a dog or a doll? Anyway, it is owned by Mrs. Tan, mommy’s friend.

“Ohhhh…. Baby Chloe, how are you? Do you miss me?” Mrs. Tan said in her very extravagant tone. “No, I don’t.”

She never bothers about my answer as she always does, and held me out from my cozy pram. Swinging me a little and sometimes even tossing me up to the air. Ok, admit that I enjoy flying!

But, I just hate being pinched by some other aunties!

“Chloe!” Oh my goodness, here are the aunties!

“Hey, your girl is growing bigger and bigger, and even cuter!”

And here came the first pinch on my right cheek, followed by a rub on my both cheeks.

“Ouch!” I was trying hard to mouth out a “Stop it!” against those aunties, and showing them my unpleasant expression, but I have never succeed.

Together with the aunties, we moved towards the playground and rested at the side of the benches, looking at the happy kids running around, riding on the seesaw, climbing up a slide, and tossing a baseball. I just cannot wait to join them when I grow up!

“Hurry up! It’s going to pour soon! Run!” The kids shouted.

The sky was getting cloudy with storm clouds approaching, the wind started to blow stronger and stronger. A rain drop fell on my left hand. Everyone in the park was rushing towards their home.

Argh, how I wish I could stay here for a bit longer. Oh well, I suppose there are more weekends to come, Mommy and I will surely pay the park another visit!
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Nadia_142279




Posts : 31
Join date : 2009-01-21
Age : 36
Location : Malaysia

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PostSubject: Like it.   Teeny Weeny Fantasy EmptySun Apr 05, 2009 8:55 pm

The story is very interesting and those dialogues made it more interesting.I like the flow of the story.It is easy to understand and very "cute".Well,I wish we can be kids again!!hehe.Childhood is the most memorable things ever, in my whole life.
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BBI3421 STUDENTS' WRITING FORUM :: FINAL DRAFTS - THE CHALLENGE :: TOPIC 1-
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